garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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