Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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