Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
