Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
this will be a night to untag.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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