My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
