I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
