How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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