i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
