I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Congratulations! We have a period
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
