my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
