she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
