What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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