Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
