i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
