your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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