Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
