I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
