So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
