Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
