it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
