for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
