We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize
