I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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