Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
