Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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