What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
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I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
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If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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