i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
