i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
