real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.