did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah