Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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