Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
