...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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