i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
