It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
