it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
