these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
