Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
