I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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