No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
