Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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