just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
