sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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