Soap is not a condiment
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
