I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
