So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
are you so shy because you have an std?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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