No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
