You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
