Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I lost the right to judge tonight
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
