Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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