Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
