Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I currently don't understand fingers.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize