Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
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She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
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who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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