dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
