I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
