I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
