You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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