3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
