So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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