All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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