Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
