I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
