Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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