I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
