guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
