remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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