Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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