seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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