You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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