Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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